Uma Has Been Home One Year!

Today, one year ago, Adhipen and I arrived at the Los Angeles airport with our little Uma. We picked her up on January 2, and arrived home January 10. Our life together had begun.
This time last year, we were all in bed trying to adjust to the jet lag. Uma cried and cried from both fatigue, and probably just the newness of it all (not to mention the bad diarrhea and cold she was suffering from). Tonight, the three of us (until I just excused myself so I could write this) were sitting and painting (which Uma can literally do for more than an hour in one sitting without distraction). She is now secure and settled, happy in her home and comfortable in her life.

As I typ this, I am listening to her talk with Adhipen. She is telling him the colors she wants to use, what she is painting on the page and directing him on how she wants him to paint in her book. It is amazing how far she has come in one year!

Did we have a life before this wonderful being came to join us? I really can't remember! It just feels like we have been together for all this time. Uma's presence is truly a blessing and gift. She brings us so much laughter, pride, cause for introspection and surprise. Sometimes I sit in wonder at how we found each other, and other times I know unequivocally that it was so meant to be, how could we not have found each other? Uma is so much our child!

Yesterday we took Uma's sister, Ishana (Adhipen's daughter from another marriage), to the airport. She had arrived from Dubai, where she lives with her mother, on December 27 for her holiday here with us. On Ishana's last visit in April, Uma had only been here a few months, and she was not ready to suddenly have to share her new found parents. She was quite jealous of Ishana and rejected her alot of the time. This trip, however, was the complete opposite. Uma loved having a big sister! She imitated Ishana's every move and seemed to understand that "Nana" (as Uma calls her) was someone very special to her. She did not want to leave her side.

Hence, it was extremely difficult yesterday to try to explain to her that Ishana was going to leave now and not be back for a while. She finally decided that Nana was "working" which is what she says anytime someone she loves is away from her. I told her that we could talk to Ishana by phone until she came again. Today she started asking me for "Nana phone." She also asked to do "baby chair" (what she says when she wants me to hug her and rock her in the rocking chair) and she cried for about a half hour, really for no overt reason whatsoever. I think it was because she was trying to process suddenly not having Ishana around when in her mind, Ishana was living here with us. Adhipen and I always feel sad when Ishana leaves even though we know the circumstances. What loss must feel like when the mind cannot even comprehend what it is!

We spent a wonderful family time over the holidays. First, we drove to Palo Alto to spend Christmas with my brother, Craig and family. My parents were also there. Then we went to San Jose to be with Adhipen's sister and family. That was when Ishana joined us. Malar's boys, Jeetu and Jeyvel, now in college, were both there and with Ishana and Uma, it was the first time that all the four grandchildren on Adhipen's side were together. Since Ishana lives in Dubai, and Jeetu in Boston, us in LA and Jeyvel in Northern, Ca, it is very rare that this can happen! Hopefully, this summer, when Adhipen's parents are here, we can do it again.

After San Jose, we joined my whole family, Jason and family included, in Morro Bay. They had all rented a beautiful beach house and graciously gifted us the outside guest house where the four of us stayed. We spent the new year there, and then came home on January 2, which was the one year anniversary of our picking up Uma. On the drive back, we stopped in Solvang. My days after that were full of either work or the two girls. Now, with Ishana parting, it is time to start our life in 2009.

Last year after this date, Jan. 10, I had two months of maternity leave where all of my days and nights were spent with Uma. As much as I love my work, I would love another two months this year, though it is not possible. Uma will be turning three in April, and then she will likely start pre-school. My days with her, when I am not working, are already quite taken up with her various therapies, speech and occupational, and we actually don't have one full single day together, except Sunday, where we are without an appointment of some sort. It feels like she is growing up quickly and so I really want to savor every minute I can with her. With changes in my office, I had to work on Thursdays now, in addition to Tuesday and Saturday, and this made it so we have even less time together, which has been sad for me, and I think Uma too. When I go off to work, she still cries most of the time, and now that she is more verbal, when I tell her I need to go to work, she tells me, "no want! Want mama!" I feel the same.

I see my nephews, now practically preteens, and I remember, as if it were yesterday, the day that they each were born. I met Ishana, via phone, when she was Uma's age and speaking pretty much like Uma. She will now be 12 in December! The time passes by so quickly. If I had had children at the "normal" age, they would be in college right now! Instead I am with a toddler, and I could not be happier about it! I even have thoughts in 2009, of bringing Uma a sibling. I hope that we are able to do this. It is such a gift to be able to be a mother, and especially a mother to a child like Uma. My heart is filled with gratitude and awe!

I have to say that for me, it is bittersweet to watch your child grow. On one hand, that is what they are supposed to do, and it is so very exciting and joyful to watch. As they become more mature, they seem to amaze you even more with their wisdom and the person they are becoming. On the other hand, as they grow, they part from you, the baby days turn into childhood, and then teenagehood and then adulthood, and then they are now longer the little one in your arms, flying about the house, asking for "huggies" and discovering the world in your very hands. I never understood how this really felt until now. This is why I do want to savor every moment and also at the same time try to have a life full of work and the other things I need to do. And if I am remiss in 2009, as I was in 2008, and not entering in the blog too often, now you know why. :) The computer just does not take the same precedence as my time with my little Uma.