Uma has been blessed with the love of Anne, who has been looking after her and showering her with attention and affection. Today, another angel entered her life, though, thankfully, it only needed to be for a brief encounter. That angel is Dr. Amit Singal.
Dr. Amit (as we have been calling him) left his busy job at government hospital (and Adhipen says that the goverment hosipital MDs are the best because of the numbers of cases they see on a daily basis) which was far from Uma's orphanage to go and examine her on our behalf. He had to go during his working hours, though originally he preferred to go on Sunday, his day off, because the orphanage rules were that he could only go between 9-5 on weekdays. He accomodated to their rules and went yesterday (our last night). He refused to take any payment from us. He felt it was his "duty" because Uma is an orphan and because we are adopting her.
Dr. Amit found Uma Aakriti to be in good health with all milestones met for her age except for speech. He said that to have one milestone unmet was not a concern. He also found her to be malnourished with a protein deficiency. She does not have alopecia (hair loss in patches) but her hair is thin and lacks luster, probably due to being malnourished. Though he did not look at the past medical records, her weight /height was only slightly under the norm for her age, and so he was not concerned about it.
Dr. Amit said that she was responsive to him, smiled and made eye contact and was able to run and even climb the stairs with some help (and even without help when she was determined to go visit Anne as per Anne's last e-mail to us :))
We were very relieved by Dr. Amit's report, and very grateful to him for his kindness and his humanity. He is what I would consider a true healer! We will always consider him one of Uma's angels. :)
Oct 19, 2007
Oct 11, 2007
Life Line Cut! :((((
Yesterday we received a devastating mail from Anne telling us that she no longer would be able to communicate with us. I had told our adoption agency about our concerns regarding Aakriti's emotional health during the time that Aakriti was pulling away from Anne. Since she has Failure to Thrive syndrome, and that can lead to cognitive damage, when she reacted this way towards Anne, we all, including Anne, became extremely worried.
Our agency expressed their concern to the orphanage who in turn got extremely angry at Anne for communicating with us. Apparently she is not supposed to speak to anyone outside of the orphanage about business within the orphanage, including and especially parents. I suppose that this is to keep problems from arising, which can happen when emotions are high (and they are about as high as they can get when you are waiting for your child and are powerless to do anything).
We are extremely sad about it because we were so enjoying the communication, not just because Anne is such a wonderful person, but also because she really was giving us a picture of what our little girl was like.
On Monday, we had received a wonderful mail from Anne telling us that Aakriti was doing well and that she and Anne had been spending alot of time together. Anne told us that Aakriti had gone from her second floor quarters up to the third floor, where Anne's bedroom is, and when Anne opened the door to go out, she was surprised to find our little Aakriti standing there waiting for her! Adhipen and I were so touched by this story. It made our whole day.
There is no doubt that we will miss our correspondence with Anne immensely! I used to leave my computer on at night just so that I could wake up early and check to see if Anne had written. She made our wait somewhat bearable giving us a beautiful light to look forward to, and now we are left in the dark again.
We were planning with Anne to get blankets for every child in the orphanage. We were also going to get each child's name sewn into it, so that he/she would have something that he/she owned by name and could cuddle up with at night. Anne had obtained permission from her superior and we were going to start a campaign whereby everyone we knew could donate one blanket. It would have been fun, and something wonderful to do. Now I do not know how to go about doing it without her. :(((
Really, we are extremely sad. I have tears in my eyes as I write this :(((((
Our agency expressed their concern to the orphanage who in turn got extremely angry at Anne for communicating with us. Apparently she is not supposed to speak to anyone outside of the orphanage about business within the orphanage, including and especially parents. I suppose that this is to keep problems from arising, which can happen when emotions are high (and they are about as high as they can get when you are waiting for your child and are powerless to do anything).
We are extremely sad about it because we were so enjoying the communication, not just because Anne is such a wonderful person, but also because she really was giving us a picture of what our little girl was like.
On Monday, we had received a wonderful mail from Anne telling us that Aakriti was doing well and that she and Anne had been spending alot of time together. Anne told us that Aakriti had gone from her second floor quarters up to the third floor, where Anne's bedroom is, and when Anne opened the door to go out, she was surprised to find our little Aakriti standing there waiting for her! Adhipen and I were so touched by this story. It made our whole day.
There is no doubt that we will miss our correspondence with Anne immensely! I used to leave my computer on at night just so that I could wake up early and check to see if Anne had written. She made our wait somewhat bearable giving us a beautiful light to look forward to, and now we are left in the dark again.
We were planning with Anne to get blankets for every child in the orphanage. We were also going to get each child's name sewn into it, so that he/she would have something that he/she owned by name and could cuddle up with at night. Anne had obtained permission from her superior and we were going to start a campaign whereby everyone we knew could donate one blanket. It would have been fun, and something wonderful to do. Now I do not know how to go about doing it without her. :(((
Really, we are extremely sad. I have tears in my eyes as I write this :(((((
Oct 7, 2007
Getting to Know You....
The children at the orphange are extremely, extremely blessed to have a wonderful person like Anne who is there to love them, play with them and offer them gentleness, kindness and stimulation in the form of playing, loving touch, singing and music. There is no question that she will make a tremendous impact on their lives.
However, she is also a blessing for us as parents. Not only is she providing invaluable attention to our child, but she is a voice for us so that we may get to know our child before we even get to hold her in our arms. Through her mails, I am already getting to know my little girl.
I had written her some questions about Uma Aakriti and from her answers, we can begin to know our child. I will refer to her as Aakriti in this post since that is what she is called now, and that the the name Anne knows her by.
It seems that Aakriti makes alot of eye contact with Anne, both when she is happy and she is sad. When she is feeling happy, she looks at Anne and when Anne looks back, Aakriti gives her a sweet smile.
None of the children have toys of their own. When Anne comes, she takes the toys out to play with them with the children. All of the children like to listen to music and when she plays the radio, Aakriti likes to dance a little to the music. I can only imagine how cute that must look! With no toys to play with on her own, Aakriti has very cleverly made a toy out of a little chair that she moves around and then climbs up on.
When Ann is there, she takes out Legos and all of the children, including Aakriti, really like to play with them. Aakriti especially likes the Lego toys that are animal figures and she holds them and looks at them alot. She also likes to look at what the older children are doing and playing and imitate them. One time, Anne was playing some acrobatic games with an older girl. When she was done, Aakriti came to her, took Anne's hands and placed her feet on Anne's legs just like the older girl had done.
Aakriti loves to have her belly tickled and she loves to be held and danced with. She is definitely in the right family when it comes to dance! There will be no shortage of that for her with me!! :)
Apparently Aakriti also loves chocolate. If she its it on her own, she literally gets it all over herself. A bath in chocolate...hmmmm....definitely something her Uncle Jason would relate to, and unfortunately for me (I am into healthy eating), between her daddy and grammy, confired chocoholics, I think that she will be well taken care of in the chocolate department, at least behind my back!
In addition to tickling, she loves other sensory games like having her neck puffed on (this is what they are playing in the video). And Anne says that Aakriti is really happy when someone talks to her and shows her things. She also likes to play chase with the other children, as long as no one runs her down. She doesn't like that too much, but then who would? :)
If Aakriti gets upset or is sad, Anne sings a song for her to calm her down and it does calm her. I thinks that Aakriti really like music and singing. I bet she will even like Grammy's singing! That is one of the great things about being a grandma. Grammy's grandkids don't realize it when she sings the songs wrong! They just feel the love that she is singing with, and that makes the music for them (for those of you reading who don't know this, Grammy is quite tone deaf).
Though at 18 months, Aakriti is not talking, she does make baby sounds such as "tha, him, de" and so on, so she is trying. Anne feels that alot of the children in the orphanage have developmental delays because they are not getting the love and security of having their own family.
Anne has been speaking English to Aakriti since she knows that Aakriti will be coming to California.
Aakriti knows her name well and responds to it when she is called. So we will very slowly and gently be transitioning her into the name Uma. I just can't imagine how it would be to have your entire world turned upside down, even your name! We will definitely be getting the guidance of a therpist and/or parenting coach to help us make the changes lovingly and sensitively.
She does not have her own bed and sleeps whereever with the other children. I wonder if she has to struggle for a space at times? This, then, will call for sensitivity too. As per Indian tradition, and the parenting style of attachment therapy (as well as advice from other adoptive parents), Aakriti will sleep with us. However, I think that I will also get her her own bed that we will sidecar next to our bed so that she knows that she has her own bed too, if she wants to be there.
Anne was so very kind to take the time to write to us in detail to help us know our daughter. After reading her mail, I had this feeling that I had been starving and she just gave me a satisfying meal. The only problem is that now I am hungry for more!
This truely is for me, the most difficult part of the entire adoption journey. We are so close and yet so far. Thanks to this Divine being Anne, the waiting can be a bit more bearable.
However, she is also a blessing for us as parents. Not only is she providing invaluable attention to our child, but she is a voice for us so that we may get to know our child before we even get to hold her in our arms. Through her mails, I am already getting to know my little girl.
I had written her some questions about Uma Aakriti and from her answers, we can begin to know our child. I will refer to her as Aakriti in this post since that is what she is called now, and that the the name Anne knows her by.
It seems that Aakriti makes alot of eye contact with Anne, both when she is happy and she is sad. When she is feeling happy, she looks at Anne and when Anne looks back, Aakriti gives her a sweet smile.
None of the children have toys of their own. When Anne comes, she takes the toys out to play with them with the children. All of the children like to listen to music and when she plays the radio, Aakriti likes to dance a little to the music. I can only imagine how cute that must look! With no toys to play with on her own, Aakriti has very cleverly made a toy out of a little chair that she moves around and then climbs up on.
When Ann is there, she takes out Legos and all of the children, including Aakriti, really like to play with them. Aakriti especially likes the Lego toys that are animal figures and she holds them and looks at them alot. She also likes to look at what the older children are doing and playing and imitate them. One time, Anne was playing some acrobatic games with an older girl. When she was done, Aakriti came to her, took Anne's hands and placed her feet on Anne's legs just like the older girl had done.
Aakriti loves to have her belly tickled and she loves to be held and danced with. She is definitely in the right family when it comes to dance! There will be no shortage of that for her with me!! :)
Apparently Aakriti also loves chocolate. If she its it on her own, she literally gets it all over herself. A bath in chocolate...hmmmm....definitely something her Uncle Jason would relate to, and unfortunately for me (I am into healthy eating), between her daddy and grammy, confired chocoholics, I think that she will be well taken care of in the chocolate department, at least behind my back!
In addition to tickling, she loves other sensory games like having her neck puffed on (this is what they are playing in the video). And Anne says that Aakriti is really happy when someone talks to her and shows her things. She also likes to play chase with the other children, as long as no one runs her down. She doesn't like that too much, but then who would? :)
If Aakriti gets upset or is sad, Anne sings a song for her to calm her down and it does calm her. I thinks that Aakriti really like music and singing. I bet she will even like Grammy's singing! That is one of the great things about being a grandma. Grammy's grandkids don't realize it when she sings the songs wrong! They just feel the love that she is singing with, and that makes the music for them (for those of you reading who don't know this, Grammy is quite tone deaf).
Though at 18 months, Aakriti is not talking, she does make baby sounds such as "tha, him, de" and so on, so she is trying. Anne feels that alot of the children in the orphanage have developmental delays because they are not getting the love and security of having their own family.
Anne has been speaking English to Aakriti since she knows that Aakriti will be coming to California.
Aakriti knows her name well and responds to it when she is called. So we will very slowly and gently be transitioning her into the name Uma. I just can't imagine how it would be to have your entire world turned upside down, even your name! We will definitely be getting the guidance of a therpist and/or parenting coach to help us make the changes lovingly and sensitively.
She does not have her own bed and sleeps whereever with the other children. I wonder if she has to struggle for a space at times? This, then, will call for sensitivity too. As per Indian tradition, and the parenting style of attachment therapy (as well as advice from other adoptive parents), Aakriti will sleep with us. However, I think that I will also get her her own bed that we will sidecar next to our bed so that she knows that she has her own bed too, if she wants to be there.
Anne was so very kind to take the time to write to us in detail to help us know our daughter. After reading her mail, I had this feeling that I had been starving and she just gave me a satisfying meal. The only problem is that now I am hungry for more!
This truely is for me, the most difficult part of the entire adoption journey. We are so close and yet so far. Thanks to this Divine being Anne, the waiting can be a bit more bearable.
Oct 4, 2007
Doing Our Homework Now
After Adhipen returned from India, we got some mails from Anne reporting that Aakriti's physical and emotional state had worsened. She even began to withdrawn from Anne and would bite and pinch her to get away. Anne was so upset! So were we!
It seems now, that she has calmed down with Anne, and hopefully that will last, but it really pointed out the need for us to do something now with regard to getting more tools on attachment issues with children who have undergone trauma or who have been in institutions.
I have begun to read some books about it, and we are searching out a therapist who can counsel us on how best to approach Aakriti so as not to futher traumatize her by the intense change of leaving the orphanage and coming to the US with us. I found a wonderful website (see the link center) that has been a rich resource for me.
An extremely kind person named Shilpa, has offered to teach me some Hindi words that we can say to Uma to help her feel more comfortable with us in the beginning. So nowI can say a few things in Hindi. :) My dear friend Neha, who speaks mainly Gugarati, said I had a great accent! :) Adhipen could not understand a word, but then he speaks Tamil.
We have decided not to keep calling the lawyer. He is starting to get annoyed with us. Instead, we will just call our adoption agency once a week and pray for progress in the courts. In the meantime, doing this homework to get ready for Uma's homecoming does help.
It seems now, that she has calmed down with Anne, and hopefully that will last, but it really pointed out the need for us to do something now with regard to getting more tools on attachment issues with children who have undergone trauma or who have been in institutions.
I have begun to read some books about it, and we are searching out a therapist who can counsel us on how best to approach Aakriti so as not to futher traumatize her by the intense change of leaving the orphanage and coming to the US with us. I found a wonderful website (see the link center) that has been a rich resource for me.
An extremely kind person named Shilpa, has offered to teach me some Hindi words that we can say to Uma to help her feel more comfortable with us in the beginning. So nowI can say a few things in Hindi. :) My dear friend Neha, who speaks mainly Gugarati, said I had a great accent! :) Adhipen could not understand a word, but then he speaks Tamil.
We have decided not to keep calling the lawyer. He is starting to get annoyed with us. Instead, we will just call our adoption agency once a week and pray for progress in the courts. In the meantime, doing this homework to get ready for Uma's homecoming does help.
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