Today Uma turned three!
Since my last post in January, Uma has grown so much, physically, emotionally and cognitively! She is now above average for her height. My mother says that she is literally double the size she was when she first came. She has lost that round and babyish "toddler" figure and is now looking like a lean and muscular "preschooler."
Uma's speaking has really improved. She still has trouble articulating clearly, but she is a real chatterbox! She loves to talk on the phone whenever anyone calls. She notices who I am talking to (and sometimes I really don't know how she knows because I don't always say the person's name) and asks to speak also. She also loves to talk on her toy cell phone. She has a little bag that it comes in and when we go out, she gets her phone to carry it with her. Then she sits in the back seat and has imaginary conversations with the people she loves. She will say, "Oh, hi daddy!' And then there is silence (as if she is listening) and then she responds, "yes....with Mommy...yes....okay...(giggle, giggle)...yes....okay....Love you! Bye!
Our favorite "Uma language" story requires a bit of background. Whenever Uma does something she is not supposed to, Adhipen will say to her, "No monkey work!" Uma pronounces the word, "monkey" as "bicky." One day, I was digging something out of a drawer and Uma put her hands in and starting messing things even more. I told her, "Uma, stop it!" She looked at me sheepishly and said wagging her finger, "Bicky no work!" Her expression and her version of "no monkey work" were so funny, I could not stop laughing! Since then, it has become a family practice, including Uncles and Aunts, to say, "bicky no work!" anytime someone is goofing off!
Uma is crazy about Barbie movies!There is nothing else that she wants to watch! As a result, she has almost every Barbie movie in the collection. Now she likes to wear crowns when we go to the store saying that they are "Barbie's hat." She does have some Barbie dolls, and right now, as I type this, she has taken them out, while watching a Barbie movie, of course, and is playing with them as she watches the movie. She likes to repeat what the characters are saying in the movie using the dolls as the speakers. Still, the Barbie dolls take second place to the movies!
Uma like to play games with me. She especially loves to play "Memory," with the Disney princess set. We play that particular one face up because there are alot of cards, but she has a smaller set with animals and basic items on it that we play face down. Uma also loves to do puzzles. She has some easy puzzles that she does herself, but she actually prefers the more complex jigsaw puzzles, which she does with some help from me.
Uma has begun doing alot of imaginary play with dolls and tea sets. She still loves to climb and is a very good athelete. She loves to build Legos and she has a wooden bead set that she makes necklaces with over and over again. These, among many others, are some of her favorite toys.
Uma adores my parents, whom she calls "Gaga" and "Papa." She talks about them all the time, loves going over to see them every Thursday while I am working, and every time she sees a Prius (their car) she shouts out, "Look! Papa's car!" She still has a Nanny on Tuesdays, but recently we got a new nanny because Uma just did not seem to like the old one. She never really bonded with her for some reason, and became terrified to go to the park with her, so we are wondering what could have happened there that made her so afraid. Unfortunately, she is unable to tell us exactly what happened, and of course, the nanny said that nothing happened. The only thing we can think it might be is that one time the nanny left Uma's Barney, her nighttime huggy friend, at the park. Even though I replaced the Barney quickly, Uma never seemed to forgive the nanny after that. Anyway, so far, she really seems to like the new one, named "Joshua, but who Uma calls, "Auntie."
My practice has gotten very busy, and I had to open up Saturdays for work. In this economy, I just did not feel I should shut that door when the opportunity was there. So Adhipen takes Uma on Saturdays. She goes to his office and plays with him and with another "Auntie," Suryadasi, who works for Adhipen. Uma enjoys her time with her daddy, and especially enjoys walking all over him! She has him wrapped around her little finger!
Last month, Uma and I took a trip to Washington DC (Adhipen was in India), and a weekend trip together to Lake Elsinore. (Adhipen was away for Sivarathri). I really love these trips with Uma! It is such precious time for me to share with her. I want to take more Mommy/Daughter trips along the way.
Just before we left for the DC trip, Uma started wearing training pants. By the time we got back, she was totally toilet trained. Now she only wears "panties" though I still put her in training pants at night. So far, she has not wet them once!
The day she transitioned to panties, she had a bit of a meltdown, and I was certain that it was grief. She pretended that she stubbed her toe and started crying and crying. She wanted me to comfort her by doing "baby chair" (I rock her like a baby in our rocking chair) and she wanted to drink milk out of a bottle like a baby. I reassured her that she will always be my baby and rocked and cuddled her. After that, she fine with her transition to panties, and proudly told everyone "have panties now!" for a few weeks!
Along side of the transition to panties, she also had some sort of major cognitive and emotional shifts. On one hand, she has become even more physically affectionate, especially with Adhipen and my father (she used to be fairly distant around men, including those two), but on the other hand, she has become more independent. She separates easily from me now, and gets extremely offended if I don't let her do everything herself! I have to allow extra time everyday so that Uma can try to dresss herself, groom herself and do almost every single thing from opening jars to carrying groceries. She will shout out, "my turn please!!" and then jump in front of you to do whatever it is that you want to do. Her speech shot up at this time, and she has also started playing alone with her toys. When she needs to go to the bathroom, she tells me, "Wee wee toilet." Mommy wait here. I'll do it!" She goes and does it all herself, with minimal to no supervision from me! By the way, I have transitioned from being called, "Mama" to "Mommy." I like the "Mommy" stage. I guess the next transition will be when she is a teen and she starts to call me, "Mom." I hope that transition takes a loooooong time to come!
I had not planned on putting her in preschool until the fall, but with this recent shift we have seen in her, I really feel that she is totally ready and really needing to be with other children in a learning/play environment.
Today I visited a class that I think will be really good for Uma. There are 20 children and 4 teachers. She will go 5 days a week, three hours a day from 8:30 - 11:30. During that time, she will still continue to receive speech therapy and occupational therapy. There are therapists on the school site who will pull her out of class to work with her. I think this program will be excellent for her. We will have a meeting, called an IEP (individualized education plan) and I will have written in it that the first week or two I be allowed to transition her to the class however she may need it. Somehow, however, I think the transition will be fairly easy. When we walked on campus for the last IEP, I had Uma with me. As soon as she saw the other children playing on the playground, she tore loose from my hand and went running!! She did not look back! She trusted that I was there and she was ready to experience the world of play, and be with kids her own age.
I guess this is the beginning of letting go! It is her job to grow up, and it is Adhipen and my job to let her. It is so bittersweet to watch her, however. As she matures, all of these new developments in her personality are so exciting and joyous. She is becoming her own person! Yet, at the same time, they mean that the already shortened "baby time" really only a year, is coming to an end. We are shifting to a new layer of growth and maturity. We are watching our little seedling blossom into a flower.
She is, and is becoming, such an amazing flower! It is like having a bottomless treasure chest that continues to unfold more and more treasure, sometimes in the form one would least expect!
Happy birthday, our beautiful daughter! Happy birthday!
Apr 1, 2009
Jan 10, 2009
Uma Has Been Home One Year!
Today, one year ago, Adhipen and I arrived at the Los Angeles airport with our little Uma. We picked her up on January 2, and arrived home January 10. Our life together had begun.
This time last year, we were all in bed trying to adjust to the jet lag. Uma cried and cried from both fatigue, and probably just the newness of it all (not to mention the bad diarrhea and cold she was suffering from). Tonight, the three of us (until I just excused myself so I could write this) were sitting and painting (which Uma can literally do for more than an hour in one sitting without distraction). She is now secure and settled, happy in her home and comfortable in her life.
As I typ this, I am listening to her talk with Adhipen. She is telling him the colors she wants to use, what she is painting on the page and directing him on how she wants him to paint in her book. It is amazing how far she has come in one year!
Did we have a life before this wonderful being came to join us? I really can't remember! It just feels like we have been together for all this time. Uma's presence is truly a blessing and gift. She brings us so much laughter, pride, cause for introspection and surprise. Sometimes I sit in wonder at how we found each other, and other times I know unequivocally that it was so meant to be, how could we not have found each other? Uma is so much our child!
Yesterday we took Uma's sister, Ishana (Adhipen's daughter from another marriage), to the airport. She had arrived from Dubai, where she lives with her mother, on December 27 for her holiday here with us. On Ishana's last visit in April, Uma had only been here a few months, and she was not ready to suddenly have to share her new found parents. She was quite jealous of Ishana and rejected her alot of the time. This trip, however, was the complete opposite. Uma loved having a big sister! She imitated Ishana's every move and seemed to understand that "Nana" (as Uma calls her) was someone very special to her. She did not want to leave her side.
Hence, it was extremely difficult yesterday to try to explain to her that Ishana was going to leave now and not be back for a while. She finally decided that Nana was "working" which is what she says anytime someone she loves is away from her. I told her that we could talk to Ishana by phone until she came again. Today she started asking me for "Nana phone." She also asked to do "baby chair" (what she says when she wants me to hug her and rock her in the rocking chair) and she cried for about a half hour, really for no overt reason whatsoever. I think it was because she was trying to process suddenly not having Ishana around when in her mind, Ishana was living here with us. Adhipen and I always feel sad when Ishana leaves even though we know the circumstances. What loss must feel like when the mind cannot even comprehend what it is!
We spent a wonderful family time over the holidays. First, we drove to Palo Alto to spend Christmas with my brother, Craig and family. My parents were also there. Then we went to San Jose to be with Adhipen's sister and family. That was when Ishana joined us. Malar's boys, Jeetu and Jeyvel, now in college, were both there and with Ishana and Uma, it was the first time that all the four grandchildren on Adhipen's side were together. Since Ishana lives in Dubai, and Jeetu in Boston, us in LA and Jeyvel in Northern, Ca, it is very rare that this can happen! Hopefully, this summer, when Adhipen's parents are here, we can do it again.
After San Jose, we joined my whole family, Jason and family included, in Morro Bay. They had all rented a beautiful beach house and graciously gifted us the outside guest house where the four of us stayed. We spent the new year there, and then came home on January 2, which was the one year anniversary of our picking up Uma. On the drive back, we stopped in Solvang. My days after that were full of either work or the two girls. Now, with Ishana parting, it is time to start our life in 2009.
Last year after this date, Jan. 10, I had two months of maternity leave where all of my days and nights were spent with Uma. As much as I love my work, I would love another two months this year, though it is not possible. Uma will be turning three in April, and then she will likely start pre-school. My days with her, when I am not working, are already quite taken up with her various therapies, speech and occupational, and we actually don't have one full single day together, except Sunday, where we are without an appointment of some sort. It feels like she is growing up quickly and so I really want to savor every minute I can with her. With changes in my office, I had to work on Thursdays now, in addition to Tuesday and Saturday, and this made it so we have even less time together, which has been sad for me, and I think Uma too. When I go off to work, she still cries most of the time, and now that she is more verbal, when I tell her I need to go to work, she tells me, "no want! Want mama!" I feel the same.
I see my nephews, now practically preteens, and I remember, as if it were yesterday, the day that they each were born. I met Ishana, via phone, when she was Uma's age and speaking pretty much like Uma. She will now be 12 in December! The time passes by so quickly. If I had had children at the "normal" age, they would be in college right now! Instead I am with a toddler, and I could not be happier about it! I even have thoughts in 2009, of bringing Uma a sibling. I hope that we are able to do this. It is such a gift to be able to be a mother, and especially a mother to a child like Uma. My heart is filled with gratitude and awe!
I have to say that for me, it is bittersweet to watch your child grow. On one hand, that is what they are supposed to do, and it is so very exciting and joyful to watch. As they become more mature, they seem to amaze you even more with their wisdom and the person they are becoming. On the other hand, as they grow, they part from you, the baby days turn into childhood, and then teenagehood and then adulthood, and then they are now longer the little one in your arms, flying about the house, asking for "huggies" and discovering the world in your very hands. I never understood how this really felt until now. This is why I do want to savor every moment and also at the same time try to have a life full of work and the other things I need to do. And if I am remiss in 2009, as I was in 2008, and not entering in the blog too often, now you know why. :) The computer just does not take the same precedence as my time with my little Uma.
This time last year, we were all in bed trying to adjust to the jet lag. Uma cried and cried from both fatigue, and probably just the newness of it all (not to mention the bad diarrhea and cold she was suffering from). Tonight, the three of us (until I just excused myself so I could write this) were sitting and painting (which Uma can literally do for more than an hour in one sitting without distraction). She is now secure and settled, happy in her home and comfortable in her life.
As I typ this, I am listening to her talk with Adhipen. She is telling him the colors she wants to use, what she is painting on the page and directing him on how she wants him to paint in her book. It is amazing how far she has come in one year!
Did we have a life before this wonderful being came to join us? I really can't remember! It just feels like we have been together for all this time. Uma's presence is truly a blessing and gift. She brings us so much laughter, pride, cause for introspection and surprise. Sometimes I sit in wonder at how we found each other, and other times I know unequivocally that it was so meant to be, how could we not have found each other? Uma is so much our child!
Yesterday we took Uma's sister, Ishana (Adhipen's daughter from another marriage), to the airport. She had arrived from Dubai, where she lives with her mother, on December 27 for her holiday here with us. On Ishana's last visit in April, Uma had only been here a few months, and she was not ready to suddenly have to share her new found parents. She was quite jealous of Ishana and rejected her alot of the time. This trip, however, was the complete opposite. Uma loved having a big sister! She imitated Ishana's every move and seemed to understand that "Nana" (as Uma calls her) was someone very special to her. She did not want to leave her side.
Hence, it was extremely difficult yesterday to try to explain to her that Ishana was going to leave now and not be back for a while. She finally decided that Nana was "working" which is what she says anytime someone she loves is away from her. I told her that we could talk to Ishana by phone until she came again. Today she started asking me for "Nana phone." She also asked to do "baby chair" (what she says when she wants me to hug her and rock her in the rocking chair) and she cried for about a half hour, really for no overt reason whatsoever. I think it was because she was trying to process suddenly not having Ishana around when in her mind, Ishana was living here with us. Adhipen and I always feel sad when Ishana leaves even though we know the circumstances. What loss must feel like when the mind cannot even comprehend what it is!
We spent a wonderful family time over the holidays. First, we drove to Palo Alto to spend Christmas with my brother, Craig and family. My parents were also there. Then we went to San Jose to be with Adhipen's sister and family. That was when Ishana joined us. Malar's boys, Jeetu and Jeyvel, now in college, were both there and with Ishana and Uma, it was the first time that all the four grandchildren on Adhipen's side were together. Since Ishana lives in Dubai, and Jeetu in Boston, us in LA and Jeyvel in Northern, Ca, it is very rare that this can happen! Hopefully, this summer, when Adhipen's parents are here, we can do it again.
After San Jose, we joined my whole family, Jason and family included, in Morro Bay. They had all rented a beautiful beach house and graciously gifted us the outside guest house where the four of us stayed. We spent the new year there, and then came home on January 2, which was the one year anniversary of our picking up Uma. On the drive back, we stopped in Solvang. My days after that were full of either work or the two girls. Now, with Ishana parting, it is time to start our life in 2009.
Last year after this date, Jan. 10, I had two months of maternity leave where all of my days and nights were spent with Uma. As much as I love my work, I would love another two months this year, though it is not possible. Uma will be turning three in April, and then she will likely start pre-school. My days with her, when I am not working, are already quite taken up with her various therapies, speech and occupational, and we actually don't have one full single day together, except Sunday, where we are without an appointment of some sort. It feels like she is growing up quickly and so I really want to savor every minute I can with her. With changes in my office, I had to work on Thursdays now, in addition to Tuesday and Saturday, and this made it so we have even less time together, which has been sad for me, and I think Uma too. When I go off to work, she still cries most of the time, and now that she is more verbal, when I tell her I need to go to work, she tells me, "no want! Want mama!" I feel the same.
I see my nephews, now practically preteens, and I remember, as if it were yesterday, the day that they each were born. I met Ishana, via phone, when she was Uma's age and speaking pretty much like Uma. She will now be 12 in December! The time passes by so quickly. If I had had children at the "normal" age, they would be in college right now! Instead I am with a toddler, and I could not be happier about it! I even have thoughts in 2009, of bringing Uma a sibling. I hope that we are able to do this. It is such a gift to be able to be a mother, and especially a mother to a child like Uma. My heart is filled with gratitude and awe!
I have to say that for me, it is bittersweet to watch your child grow. On one hand, that is what they are supposed to do, and it is so very exciting and joyful to watch. As they become more mature, they seem to amaze you even more with their wisdom and the person they are becoming. On the other hand, as they grow, they part from you, the baby days turn into childhood, and then teenagehood and then adulthood, and then they are now longer the little one in your arms, flying about the house, asking for "huggies" and discovering the world in your very hands. I never understood how this really felt until now. This is why I do want to savor every moment and also at the same time try to have a life full of work and the other things I need to do. And if I am remiss in 2009, as I was in 2008, and not entering in the blog too often, now you know why. :) The computer just does not take the same precedence as my time with my little Uma.
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